Monday, December 27, 2010

It is Hard to Describe

It is hard to describe what I am waiting for. All I am sure about is that I am no longer Planning or Hoping or Scheming or Dreaming. I am just waiting. To see what will come. To see what will happen. To see what God is planning. To see how everything will work out. I am just waiting. I have nothing to worry about.

I am not dreading school or counting the days till my family comes home. I am just doing what is right in front of me and not paying much attention to what has happened or what will happen. I am not doing this on purpose it just there...moving on... lulling me to a strange sort of calmness.

It is almost as if I am devoid of emotion but I am not. I just don't care about going up and down. I don"t want to struggle any more. I just want to lie still. I can feel God holding me in the eye of the storm telling me to rest and be peaceful while He provides me with the weapons for the coming battles.

I am so ready to be still. And I am so ready to listen to Him. I am tired of fighting. So now I am waiting.

Good night.

2 comments:

  1. This is not supposed to sound dark or depressed. It is supposed to sound peacful and relaxed, as if I am released from the pressure of carrying a heavy weight. Please do not take this the wrong way.
    ~Lydia

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  2. I did not take it as dark and depressed. I meant to comment on it earlier. I think it's beautiful. And it's more than just beautiful, but I can't put into words what exactly it felt like for me to read it. I miss you... a lot.

    ~Londs

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