Monday, December 27, 2010

It is Hard to Describe

It is hard to describe what I am waiting for. All I am sure about is that I am no longer Planning or Hoping or Scheming or Dreaming. I am just waiting. To see what will come. To see what will happen. To see what God is planning. To see how everything will work out. I am just waiting. I have nothing to worry about.

I am not dreading school or counting the days till my family comes home. I am just doing what is right in front of me and not paying much attention to what has happened or what will happen. I am not doing this on purpose it just there...moving on... lulling me to a strange sort of calmness.

It is almost as if I am devoid of emotion but I am not. I just don't care about going up and down. I don"t want to struggle any more. I just want to lie still. I can feel God holding me in the eye of the storm telling me to rest and be peaceful while He provides me with the weapons for the coming battles.

I am so ready to be still. And I am so ready to listen to Him. I am tired of fighting. So now I am waiting.

Good night.

I am waiting...

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Deciphering Personalities

She slunk into the room with languid laugh. As she slid into an empty seat she thought through the defining points of her existence. The man in black across the way followed her every move with attention typical of a jeweler examining a diamond. "Yes, he thought, they will appericiate this in the window". The swanky creature on the other side was now preening herself with careless pride while eyeing the handsome mane on the guy a few places down. Her own stunning plumage was nothing to be ashamed of yet she felt a little claustrophobic in this crowded space. So many strange accents and ruckus babbling, excited her defensive instincts. Then the bells sounded and a new noise reached her ears, this time it was an irritating screeching and squalling. In few minutes, much to her annoyance, a boisterous and new crowd arrived in an entirely different sort of get up. They stared and laughed ridiculously at each move the fancy patrons already there made, and much to their disgust began to rudely point while banging on the walls. As if to show their disdain the objects of this monstrosity continued on with their lives as though nothing were different and eventually the crowd moved on...only to be replaced by a new band of reprobates with no respect.
Welcome To The Zoo.

Monday, December 20, 2010

on my honor

I will post a long post or at least several short ones. Life moves on regardless of my consent or not and recently it seems to be on fast forward.